"not a lot of people know that" serisi olarak da bilinen bu kültür hazinesinin geri kalanı:

listen with nicko! part ii
what ho hahahaha!
well, welcome once again to the not a lot of people know that, part ii. or in other words, nick's verbal diarrhoea for the second time running. you lucky lot! now you're out there holding in your sweaty palms and all them grubby little fingers and hands, ooh the second re-released singles box set from iron maiden, the second weeks now we're running, now we're onto a cruise. women in uniform! you've just listened to it! invasion! you've just listened to it! phantom of the opera! you've just listened to it! ohh, and twilight zone and wrathchild, both 'arry harris..bomber harris compositions of the most outstandingly stunning performances! marvellous!
well, look here! women in uniform, mmmmmm. now then 'arry, you slipped up....listen don't tell him but you know it wasn't a song by 'arry, see, but he knows that doesn't he. wot? anyway, women in uniform, written by the macainah brothers... i think i pronounced that right lads... if you're listening, well too f'king bad if i ain't, i'm very sorry but anyway, nevertheless. aussie band, skyhooks i believe they were called, the name of the band, first originally recorded this women in uniform. the boys decided to do it, and released this single 27th of october 1980. and uh, well, great song, you know... doo doo ah dee dee... good song, and all that. and as i say, you've got invasion and phantom of the opera live. my goodness, aren't you lucky people... gosh i don't even have this stuff at home. you know what, i tell ya, one of the reasons that we're releasing all these bits and pieces, not only to celebrate ten years with such a great company as emi, but not a lot of us have got a complete set of the singles and all that stuff so it's really so we can get the old collection going. yeah, so anyway, nevertheless!
all right, now mike kenny made his debut in the video as eddie i do believe, on the very first promo video. well, i say the first promo,.. the invasion video, was the first rock promo, one of the first rock promos by a british rock band. i suppose you think queen's bohemian rhapsody was close to that, you know, i think they were probably the very first. but it was quite visionary if you think of the importance of videos now, you get it...vision...quite visi....yeah, all right ok, cut the crap and get on with it. so there you go, first song the band's ever released in a-side is by somebody else, and uh yeah, that's cool. and by the way, invasion was part of the band's you know the stage set that the boys used to use in the late 70's, and originally it was released on the soundhouse tapes. oh, we all know about the soundhouse tapes...take that if you don't! wooh, i'll give you...i wanna hit you so hard...anyway! invasion was on the soundhouse tapes, and steve and the guys decided to record a proper studio version of this song, so that's why that was re-done basically.
and phantom was recorded at the marquee in july 1980, oh yes you lucky maidenettes and maiden guys and all that out there! four dates in one week, to wind up their summer uk tour in 1980, can you remember that? what a great time! did top of the pops live, again, by the way, and the guys did the sound check...this is, not a lot of people know this....and they did the sound check in the afternoon. and a minute before the performance the sound monitor engineer turned around and says "i'm not gonna have this...you're too loud, we're gonna turn it down". and they messed around with all the twiddly knobs and everything, on the desk, on the desk!!! right? and it totally poxed it all up. so the boys vowed never to play..um... i said top of the pops, didn't i. well you know that company on the last thing i was trying to think of an abbreviation for, right? well you know what i'm talking about right? well it's the bleeding bojack company, right, that's what it is, and that's what they done to 'em so it's on the videos now and that's it. boom.
so you lucky lot. oooh, twilight zone and wrathchild, both as i said, 'arry harris compositions... released the 2nd of march 1981, got to chart position 31. not bad, eh! oh by the way, the women in uniform and invasion and that got to 35, i think i forgot to mention that. if i did mention it, too f'king bad, all right. so, twilight zone and wrathchild, that was recorded as part of a killers session at the turn of '80 and '81. now martin, he actually couldn't be there at this particular session, so the boys produced twilight zone themselves. quite clever when you think about it, aren't they, playing and producing it at the same time. amazing! anyway, hahaha, so they decided to release this twilight zone on the killers album. and so the boys and rod sent a telex over to japan, see, and they explained all the details of the song. so the japanese, they're a funny lot aren't they, they took it literally, and the song was printed as details of twilight zone. my goodness, that's a cracker isn't it? hah!
by the way, boys and girls, if you know your trivia. mr. h. adrian smith joined the band in that particular time, didn't he? yeah, now twilight zone, this happened to be adrian's first single with the band. now not a lot of people would remember that, but then again, probably they would, so i'll stuff it in the pipe and smoke it. h joined the band in september 1980, and as you know, on the back of this as it's a double a-side, it was wrathchild, and adrian had to learn wrathchild as part of his audition, you know. he also had to show the boys that he could kick a football and down a pint of beer in five seconds. he managed both of them no problem, now wrathchild he had to do the business. well all i can say is this... he must have done a f'king good job didn't he, eh? cause he's steaming and he's right there, see? so, not a lot of people knew that either. so anyway, that's h's audition out of the way, and he was always happening and he went out on the tour in 1980 and 1981 and all this. and, well, there you go. as it happens, as i said, the session that they did with twilight zone and wrathchild came out so well that they released it as a double a-side... by the way, as we're talking about musicians, i've got a joke for ya. i'm not gonna to like it very much, but you might, all right, so here it is:
what do you call somebody that hangs around with musicians?
awwww no, not that one! surely! all right, a bloody drummer!
allright, now i've said it and all the boys are at me, i've got that one out of the way. thanks a lot rod, hmmm. there you go. oh by the way, i was in a band called trust around that period of time, and in fact, the boys, we came out with iron maiden on their killers tour of great britain. and not a lot of people know that either. but uh, we had a great time, we did about three and a half weeks with the band, and we had a serious... it was great! well, what can i say? not a lot anymore, i think i've just about covered all that one. um, so i'm going down the pub to have a beer. tada!

(iron maiden fan - 23 Eylül 2003 23:05)

listen with nicko! part iii
........
hey nicko, wake up the tape's rolling...
ah! ok now, well! what you doing letting me go to sleep now? yeah, ah! did you say the tape's rolling? well look here, i mustn't....i can't go to sleep in the studio....time costs money don't it, you know what i mean. it's what she said last night... hahahaha! yes, cleaned me out, she did, i tell ya. don't tell the wife though...be in you know proverbial shit creek without a paddle, or should i say without the old pussy. ooh ooh! you know, no nookie for a year, watch out. might not even have any nookie ever, cause she'll probably chop my head off. hmmm, yeah that's a thought...gotta watch out.
anyway! lucky you, welcome to "not alot of people knew that, or know that, or even still don't know it -- notes number three". ding! love it! purgatory and genghis khan are in your proud possession. and you have probably just had an assortment of audible boosting out of those speakers right into your lug holes. and you've also got killers, innocent exile, remember tomorrow and running free... maiden japan. released 14th of september 1981, that little lot was... we'll get to that in a minute.
anyway, purgatory, eh, genghis khan...well the boys, didn't they...they had the only non-top-50 single ever? where was i? hmm. anyway! well that's enough of that. uuuh, released the 15th of june, purgatory and genghis khan were, or was, hmm. and it's just been released again, hasn't it? cause you are the proud owner of it, and you're listening to me again... oh no, they say...oh no...(????)... oh no, it's nicko...ohhh! well look here, it's a little bit of trivia for you on this one. i know that not alot of people know this, cause i even didn't know this, and i'll admit this....i did not know this, all right. i'll say it again, i did not know this. purgatory was originally called floating, hmm, and it was part of iron maiden's live show between '76 and '77, would you believe! it was originally played at a very much slower tempo than what is being played at on past excursions, so to speak. well, steve...he likes to play a little bit faster, he does, see...oooh, i like that too. and he decided.. he said to the band, "look, i like this song, you like it to don't ya?" they said "sure"...well they had to didn't they? and uh, hahaha! so, anyway they rearranged it and beefed it up for the killers album, and cest la vie, or as it is, cest qoir, or say what, there it is. purgatory. as it happens, at the right tempo...boom! love it! cause steve...you know, there's certain songs that are written... we'll get onto that later on, there's a little story i'll tell you about that too.
but uh, here you go, genghis khan... that was sort of a filling song, if you like. it was written on short notice... that's why it's a short song! hahahah! stupid idiot. maiden discovered they were short of a song on the killers album. so, they sat down and sort of went "here, let's think of something." and it was given a working title of jenkin's barn... god knows why, genghis khan...jenkin's barn...i suppose it rhymes, doesn't it? anyway, i dunno, soppy sod...works in mysterious ways, this music business, doesn't it? anyway, the sleeve for the purgatory single was originally the number of the beast album art work. and the band decided it was too good to keep for the... you know... too good to keep! it was best...it was too good so they wanted to keep it... (slaps himself) ...ooh, wake up! they wanted to keep it for the next album...ooh, that hurt. dave, what'd you do that for, man? anyway...they wanted to keep it for the next album, cause it fit perfectly with the old nob. well, now look, that's rephrase that...nob being an abbreviation for number of the beast. now we'll get into that later on right so. number of the beast, yes. and, it felt... you know... steve had this song and.... "yeah... that's what we'll do, we'll keep this art work for the album." so derek did a new eddie and he did the eddie-devil sleeve for the single which you all know, which you're standing looking at, or sitting looking at, or lying on the floor or on top of your missus or she's on top of you, looking at it... i don't know what you're doing but but you're having it in your hand ain't ya? no, the sleeve, silly! the sleeve! right! now as i said, it didn't make the top...it didn't get over 50...it got chart position 52. as i said, where was i? it'd been up number one...ahhm, nevermind. ah, hahaha, jesus.
anyway! maiden japan! what can you say about this? this actually was recorded on the band's very first japanese tour. and uh, the actual japanese version of this record was titled heavy metal army and there was no equivalent words in the japanese language for maiden japan. i would have thought they just should have said it "maiden japan" and called it that! well nevertheless. this was the last maiden release to feature paul di'anno, as we know. what a great singer, he was with the band for quite a few years, many, you know, quite a number of years, a few years there. but, paul went on to different pastures, green and blue and white and yellow, whatever they were. um, but any...oh, by the way on the japanese sleeve it says "pray roud". hahaha, jeez! pray roud! it don't take a degree in english science to work that one out, does it? eh? does it? what do you mean what does it mean? pray roud! right, that's enough of that. anyway, by the way, rod took all the photographs for this band...uh, for this single, the single you know, all the live shots uh...for the maiden japan. and he went down, he went down the old duh do it free racket market, you know like "ooh aah, you give me money, ooh, think me rod-san, you can have this!" so anyway, he bought a cannon camera on the cheap, as usual. and actually this is definitely where ross got his inspiration from...i mean what can i say, rod actually astounded the photo world with his prowess behind the lens. what a great...what a cracker! what a cracker. anyway, by the way, one little point...this got to to number 43 on the charts, this maiden japan, released 14th of september 1981, and again if i said it already, to f'king bad.
now. oh yes, this is a joke for ya. if the answer to the question is "my cock robbin", what's the question? "what's that... in my ass batman!" hahahahah!
.
.

(iron maiden fan - 23 Eylül 2003 23:07)

listen with nicko! part iv
what ho sed de ting!
i'm back, nyaaah! you thought you got away with it, didn't you? but you didn't. no, not on your fourth little box set of run to the hills, total eclipse, number of the beast, and remember tomorrow live. aaah! box number four. do you like it so far? what a great set of singles and all that good stuff ...original art work and all that good stuff! well, you are again the proud owner of number four, run to the hills - total eclipse, released the 12th of february 1982. and welcome once again to "not a lot of...not a lot of people know that" hahah, oh dear, it's getting worse isn't it? well i have been in here for two or three days and they won't let me out! no. they've left me stuck in this here studio and what can i do but mumble on and jumble on and get the words back to front and front to back and all that good stuff.
run to the hills, chart position number seven, got there. released 12th of february 1982, if i said that already, too f'king bad! ah, it was first released, as i said, whenever it was, featuring bruce on vocals. now bruce had joined the band in september '81, and if you think about it it's almost a to the day a year after adrian joined, september 1980. hmm. it was the band's first single, as it happens, to reach the top ten. great! well, what can you say about that? thank you guys and fans and girls...guys and girls...all the people out there that bought that, i mean puuhh, got it to number seven. and also it was one of the favorites of you guys the fans, when we play it it's great, we start of and bruce introduces the song and everyone's right there with us to know the words and sing along like you do with a lot of our songs, but i think that definitely because it was such a popular first top ten single as well such a popular song. also the video for run to the hills was...the out takes...remember the bit with the indians there, and he's sitting on a penny farthing, you know and they're all getting shot with a bow and the guy in the back with about six million arrows hanging out of his hat... and the guy goes and gets scalped, and the geezer goes up behind the indian, oh no, the indian goes up behind the guy right. oh yeah, i got it right that time. and he scalps him! and he pulls his hair off, and he's got a bloody toupe on his...he's got no hair! he's got a bald head! and the guy...whew, i think they're really great. well it's a buster keaton movie actually, but buster they couldn't show him because he'd have got...they'd have got copyright problems and all that. and it was also fun enough, a big mtv favorite. now, music television was released over in the united states before we got it on cable or satellite which is now happening in england. and uh, this was in the days when they had some serious, you know, they had some good taste, these guys. i mean, they were playing rock'n'roll and there was heavy metal. now, they're they're just like what's that, that other lot, the bleedin bojack company! you know, i'll find an abbreviation for the mtv mob, don't you worry have no friggin fear! i shall get there! there you go, brilliant success, great story.
now moving on to the other single in the set, you've got number of the beast, haven't ya? well if you haven't there's a mistake. get onto emi and have a word......slap'em around the back of the head like that for an opener, or a punch in the chops would be good. you know. number of the beast, 'arry harris composition again, remember tomorrow live, 'arryis..'arry 'arrisssizzzz and paul duh..duh..duh..di'anno. chart position 18 it got to, that was released on 26th of april 1982. and it was off of the album of the same name, number of the beast! all right? got that? all right. you know what i said earlier on as well, i think it was not a lot of people know that part three, or it might have even been part two, i don't know. i can't really remember, it was too many days ago...remember i told you they kept me in here for a few weeks...few days. um, it was released off of the album of the same name. when they were recording the album, which was at battery studio in london, mr. martin birch had a car crash, and all the old equipment in the studio kept breaking down. all this kind of things were going on. but after he got the bill presented to him, through the accident that he'd had, his car...the damage bill was six hundred and sixty six quid, sixty six p! no on my life, i am not pulling the dinger! i am telling ya, this is god's honest truth. well after the release of the album, the band were branded as satanists only to boot! what a bunch of prats! i mean these people have no idea, and they've got their noses stuck up, you know, probably up each others bum, you know. or whatever. anyway, it's all about steve having a nightmare, i mean he has them pretty often...poor guy, you know, i mean i pity the wife..."god steve, whats the matter!" "uh oh uh oh uh oh uh! oh god, it's coming for me! oh, eddie! eddie! get away!" hahahaha! poor old low, never mind. anyway...it's horrible though...no, you can't make fun of nightmares. no they're not very nice things, but steve had a nightmare what could actually happen if he got involved with all this sort of satanist stuff, and all that mumbo jumbo and all that mean gear. well you know, there you go. so basically that was the inspiration to the song, and out of that came notb, and outta notb came the album. hahahaha. wonder what the wife looked like? hahaha, jesus. i don't know, it's my sense of humour, you probably don't understand, i don't care anyway.
anyway, by the way, the video was shot at the newcastle city hall. and rod and the boys asked the local radio station, or asked the ballroom dancers to come up and feature in the video. they did. puuh, pretty good isn't it? by the way, it was my uhhh...i was still with trust at that time, and um, we actually did a ten or twelve date...i think it was ten dates of european tour with maiden on the number of the beast tour when they were in europe. and, just..after this, a couple of months after this period of time on the tour, the band did a belgian tv show, and in fact this was my very, very, very first performance with iron maiden...not a lot of people know that...and we played number of the beast, i guess it was, i think it was killers and run to the hills, something like that. i might have been wrong, and then again too bad if i am! so what you gonna do about it! take that! so! hahahaha, sorry dave. oh gosh, oh my microphone!
anyway, ah! remember tomorrow. well, this was recorded in italy...well you can remember tomorrow if you like, i can't even remember yesterday or even today, so it's up to you. hahaha. heh. anyway, remember tomorrow was recorded in italy during bruce's very first live dates with maiden. and they went out there to do some gigs with bruce and break him in, so to speak. he fell.. he fell into a vat of starch the night before. hahahaha! oh god! and he did a few dates before the small u.k. tour at the end of 1981, and that's uh, that's where remember tomorrow was recorded. that's why hence it's remember tomorrow live. and i say, it got to chart position 18, released 26th of april. good stuff! anyway, by the way i've gotta go, so look, if i don't see you in the spring which ain't too far away right, i'll see you in a mattress! hahahahaha! toodle-do! bye.

(iron maiden fan - 23 Eylül 2003 23:08)

listen with nicko! part v
what ho.... sed de ting!
welcome to "not alot of people know that, part 5." yes, you lot out there, ah you're so lucky! how can you be getting so lucky, my god! flight of icarus in those grubby dirty by now horribly sticky little fingers and hands and grubby palms, and oh what else is grubby, i don't know. flight of icarus, i've got the fire! wooo, i have right now thinking about this, oh my goodness the memories for this, my very first exotic jaunt over to the island of jersey, followed by a swift little airplane ride 3,000 kilometres due...east of ah...well no, no, got that wrong, due west of watford. my goodness, i go the wrong way and get to bleedin russia, it'd be all over. yes, due west of watford, 3,000 odd bloody miles, forget this kilometre stuff, what do you think you are, bleedin france? no thanks very much, i'm right here!
anyway, flight of icarus, doo doo doo! flight of icarus, my first single, released the 11th of april 1983, chart position number eleven...da de de da! didn't quite get to number ten, did it? anyway, my first record with the band...i starred in the video! did you see that? did you see that handsome geezer with the blue chops? wasn't half cold out there! anyway no! we did this...ah, fantastic! first trip from jersey to nassau to do the album, we had five weeks rehearsal in jersey. well, we had two weeks really because ended up three weeks partying at the bar. my goodness, we had the only 24 hour bar on the island, and we ah...funnily enough we managed to cram 25 hours in a day, hahaha! so there we are, fifteen days before we're supposed to leave...fifteen days! we hadn't even written any...well, the boys had written some....but we really hadn't rehearsed anything cause we was partying to much and having a good time, and all that good stuff. so there you are, we get this...most of the song's written, get to jersey, boom!
oh, by the way, when we first arrived in jersey, the first place we went to was a place called the traveller's rest. dear tony wiggins, our tour manager, he told us all about this place because he checked it out before us. said, "here look, you've got to come in this place before we go," and that's the first thing we did, got of the plane, picked the suitcase up, "hillo!" they said, "howwyou!," "we're fine," "ok you can come through." so we go through, get in the cabs...off we go, traveller's rest. stopped in the traveller's rest. "you've gotta have a banana daquery," says tony wiggins. well all right, lets have a drop...banana...we says, bananna...it's a poof drink! so, fair enough, so there we are sitting at the bar, and there's five poofs sitting at the bar, us! hahaha! drinking these daqueries. hahaha, no! so, the first one goes down, we thought, "f'king great, nothing to it, lets have another one!" f'king second one goes down...fifteen minutes later we're on our third banana daquery. now, we're talking serious alcohol here but you don't taste it because it's a frozen drink, it's bunged in a blender, loads of ice, (???) banana liqueur, na...bananna (???), and lots of wizzing around of varous parts, and you stick it in a glass and suck it up with a straw. for about...three of these as i said later, quarter of an hour goes by...half an hour, we try to stand up and leave. i mean, it was like, you know, "gaaaahh, where we goin?" ah, we were gone! we, we, we spent many a night down in that place, but only after an hour...we did have a party after we actually recorded flight of icarus. we went down to the pub and ah, tried to get it and gave up. the next day it weren't happening, but we went after we celebrated. we went out and celebrated the first single being recorded.
but just before we did this, recorded the song. steve said to me, he said, "don't you think we ought to speed it up a bit?" i said, "yeah, i think it should be a bit faster." and dave and h....um, bruce and h, sorry, had written this song. and they were like very adamant about the tempo of this thing, they didn't want it sort of speeding up or anything like this. so 'arry said, "play it a bit faster." i said, "yes, i'll (???) it up, don't worry." so we get in the studio and rehearsed it, we done it once or twice and it was, you know, happening. but not so...f'king hell, i'll boost it up a tad... i'll pump it...you know. so i'm out there, "boom do do da do do doom do do da! do do doom." you know, all right we go...hah! and ah bruce, dave and h going, "aah nick, what you... f'king, what'd you doing?" you know, i said, "nothing!" and i thought to myself, "ah there we go, the new boy in the band, and they think he's only been in the band f'king two months and he's speeding everything up, you know." anyway, as it turned out, it's great, wasn't it? it was really a good song.
so, they asked me to do the video. so out we are, and they said, "look do you want to do the video? you can be the old man in it." i said, "old man? look here, look here who do you think you're talking to...old man! give us a break!" they said, "well you are, aren't ya?" f'king cheek! swift kick up the jackseat for that! ah boof! (???) so there i am, i'm out there, they said,i said, all right, i'll do the video. and they said, "yeah but ahhh,we gotta blue your chops." i said "what?" they said, "we gotta put blue makeup on your face." i said, "you can piss off! i ain't having none of that!" they said, "you f'king will, if you wanna star in the video!" neeah! so there! you wanna do it or not? i thought, "well, f'king i'm the new boy, and i should do it really, it'll be a bit fun." and it was, it turned out to be the most amazing...fun. i tell ya, we really had a good time. couple of dodgy moments when i was standing on the edge of this little cliff looking down at the, or looking out to the ocean. the wind was blowing, no the wind. i mean, i was (farting noise) as well, certainly, but nevertheless. it was...i was (???) sixty, fifty, sixty feet down to the ocean! f'king great big waves rolling in there, i mean i only needed to fall over and that was it! goodbye, no f'king icky to help me out with the wings....c'mon dad, watch this!
anyway, that leads me on to i've got the fire, which is on the b-side as you know, of flight of icarus. now, for you boys and girls out there who've been paying attention and doing your homework, and buying the first, second, third, and fourth box set of the new singles, et cetera, or the old new singles, i've got the fire was recorded on the very very first maiden single which was running free, now we've already talked about that. but the boys decided to do it. steve said, "i'd like to have the penultimate...or not the penultimate, the definive...de...definitive version of this, studio version wise, lets do it again." so that's why we burned that one on the icarus single.
now moving on slowly but surely to the trooper. now that's a great old, thats a song to play, man! (humming and drumming in the background) all that, yeah! gosh! bringing back some. i wanna go out and do it. based on a charge of the light brigade! watch out! my goodness, woah, never has there been so many to fight so few! or whatever, i don't know, that was winnie, the wrong one. aces high, that's coming up next kids. yeah, well that's you know, in the next box set if you go out and buy it, you'll hear it on the next "nicko's uuh, you didn't know... not alot of people knew that..." right? number six i guess it'll be then. but anyway, yeah, oh i remember...in, what was it? what was it? into the valley of death rode the however many it was, that was what i was trying to think of and i got the winnie quote down the wrong way. nevertheless! yes, great song.
cross-eyed mary, ian anderson wrote this song, jethro tull played it. we recorded it, the b-side. did i tell you it was released the 28th of june 1983? chart position 12? well if i told you that once already, f'king too bad! so what! nyah! see, had to get that one in. and as a matter of fact, cross-eyed mary recieved.... gosh, i mean, ulitmates ultimates lots of loads of and indies and outsies of u.s. airplay, i tell ya, this was one of the biggest. the song to be played the most on u.s. airplay from iron maiden. ain't that funny. it's the best one that they ever played. well i guess their answer would say that's f'king life, isn't it.
oh by the way, just before i sign off, because i've gotta go now, you know, there's a beer waiting for me down the road in the bar. so i thought i'd better go in and have myself a little liquid libation, being i'm half way throught these little box sets here. did you hear the one about the queer shepherd? no? well, he kept mounting goats! hahahahahaha! it's stupid, isn't it? i love it though. oh gosh! ok, take care of yourselves, see you later all right? bye.
.

(iron maiden fan - 23 Eylül 2003 23:11)

listen with nicko! part vi
(drumming and singing in the background) oh! oh! you cheeky! you slimeball! what did you do that for, you rotten terror dave? you f'king put my own voice and verbals in the...you know, they've heard me trying to sing this f'king song now.
well how ya doing out there, you lot? eh? welcome yet again to nicko's "not alot of people know that, or knew that, or still don't... i don't know, whatever it is now days... number six." you are absolutely devastatingly spoiled, the lot of ya. you're out there in your greasy sweaty debauched horrible stinking little palms and fingers and all those horrible little bits and pieces that go on your hands, are now the proudest of possibly the most amazed iron maiden fans to own 2 minutes to midnight, rainbow's gold, mission from 'arry. hoho! we shall talk about that later. and as you heard, that rotten dave there will be tiddling the knobs in the control room, decided to wack the microphone on aces high, king of twilight, number of the beast live! oh you gosh, you've got such a package there! how can you still be sane, after this? i mean, goodness gracious, listen to me, i've been playing it for six years! hahahaa! anyway, no!
oh gosh, (sings) two minutes to midnight. cha! released the 6th of august 1984. my third single with the band. i guess that must make the band's eleventh or tenth single, whenever. don't write in and say, "nick i've got it wrong." or else i'll... (hits the microphone)...give you some of that! and, it got to number eleven in the charts and this great british...oh by the way, earlier on i was thinking of trying to think...you know we had the bleeding bojack company, which we all know who that is by now, right? now there was another company that i sort of mentioned prior to this little speech i'm giving to you now, and i won't actually tell you who it was, but the kind of...the...the abbreviation of this i suppose you'll get it from, but i though we could call them the mighty tight veg, what do you think? i mean, they haven't got any clue, have they? you know, i mean, nevertheless! hahaha! now then, we all know who they are, cause they've wimped out. nevertheless, we still got to number eleven in the great british charts thanks to you guys again, and girls, and all them little guyettes and guygirls and znznzn. all them people sort of whatever out there. first released single off the powerslave album, and yet again this album was recorded in the bahamas. yes sir, mmmm hmmm! now, as we all know, 2 minutes to midnight, great song, good video, the first story format that the band had ever put out on a video rather than just sort of crazy stuff and, and, the norm, you know. hehehe.
rainbow's gold was a song written by some friends of the band's, a guy called terry sles...slesser, sorry terry i didn't mean to get it wrong. terry slesser and a guy called kenny mountain who ah...in a band called beckett together, i do believe. i might have go that wrong, so f'king hell what if i have! you gonna do something about it? huh huh? come over here!
anyway, now then, on the butt end of this here single was a track called mission from 'arry. see? now, those of you out there, still to this day some of you think that this was a coreographed piece of entertainment for all you guys and girls. well i can tell you it f'king well was not. it was in fact the, if only, the very f... only argument i've ever had with steve harris. we were onstage in allantown pennsylvania one evening, this was on the piece of mind tour, when... although it was released on the back of a powerslave single, it was actually recorded on the piece of mind tour. and, i was doing a drum solo, you know, new boy in the band, do a drum solo nick, get on with it. so in this period of time, steve would go off to the back of the gig and change his...if he had a dodgy bass string, or he, normally he would, but what happened on this night, he was changing the battery on his remote, or his, should i say his transmitter. so, he sent this guy around to tell mike my drum tech to tell me to extend my drum solo, cause he weren't ready. but he didn't tell my drum tech, he told this guy who was sitting at the back of the gig who was one of the riggers, a guy called paul who's no longer with the band, i wonder why? no, anyway, he said to him, "tell nick to extend his drum solo." so i'm playing...(making drum noises), and all that shit, and i gets a tap on the back and this guy says "ooy!" i go, "what!" "ooy! blahahaey!" i go "what!" he's going "heyheyhey ehey!" and he's pointing to steve. i'm going, "eh?" he's going, "ah ah heyheyhey!" i'm going, "what!!!" he's going, "wahehaahahayyy!" i said, "fuck offffff!!!" hahah! jesus christ, he made me fuck!!! oh! anyway, what could i do? i stopped, i gone absolutely wally, so i've come off the gig anyway, and cut the, to make a long story even longer, i've come off the gig and i gone in the dressing room and i said, "that f'king geezer at the back of the gig! what the f'king hell does he think he's doing? there he is, he's giving me all these verbal signs and all this stuff right?" i said, "i couldn't understand him, he was about three feet behind me instead of coming up and shouting in my lughole." harris said, "i sent him." i went, "you what?" he said, "i sent him." i said, "what the f'king hell you doing sending him around to give me messages?" he said, "well, i...you know, play a bit more and you know, need a bit more time to change my bass thing-a-me-bob." and i said, "i f'king care about that, this geezer made me fuck!" he said, "well look, you better go and appologize to him." and i said, "f'king right i am! i f'king appologizing to him, he made me fuck!" he said. hahaha! that's the argument. we argued about fifteen twenty minutes, and it all calmed down, and bruce came in and he got a bloody cassette in his back pocket, and he said, "oy nick, what would happen if he tried to tell you the lighting truss was going to fall on your head?" and i said, "don't you f'king well start!" and 'arry said, "yeah, he's got a good point, doesn't he?" so we started the argument again and bruce recorded it. and then at the end of this mission from 'arry you'll remember this, 'arry says, he grabs the tape, just before he grabs it, he sees this tape in the pocket and he's going "some (beep)'s recording this!" hahahaha! so he got the tape, and that's basically how that all happened. but anyway, after this extravaganza, we thought it was so funny we had to let you guys hear it. and that's the only serious argument i've ever had with steve in my life, or my life.
so, that just about gives me enough time in this little "not alot of people know that number six, part six, or whatever", to tell you just a tad about aces high, which as you know has got king of twilight on it, and number... nob! of.. number of the beast live. this song was released 22nd of, no it wasn't... heh! it was, it was released 22nd of october 1984. chart position 20 that got to. now, at the time we were rehearsing the powerslave album, steve was writing this single, i started to learn to fly airplanes in jersey. and, i'd come home from the aerodrome, and i'd have the old, you know, twisting the old ends of the mustache, twiddling the old various bits and pieces, the hat and the goggles and the scarf, "woah, tally-ho biggles! you've bandits at six o'clock low, coming out of the sun, 12 o'clock high! watch out, full power, bomb's away biggles!" you know, all that good stuff. and i think it sort of slightly influenced steve to write this song, you know, about those 2nd world war spitfire pilots and those guys. hey, shhh...just between you and me, steve, he doesn't like to fly. he hates it, he think's i'm an absolute nut case! but, you don't tell him i told you, will you, because he'd be very upset. anyway, aces high, king of twilight...great! what a package this one is for you! i wish i had more time to explain some more of the stories on 2 minutes and things like that, around that time. but i really do have to go now, i'm running out of time. oh yes, just a little joke for you before i leave. have you heard the one about the two queers? they were fighting over a manhole! hahahahah! see ya, i'm off! bye!
.

(iron maiden fan - 23 Eylül 2003 23:11)

listen with nicko! part vii
oh, hey! what! dave, is that you? yeah? what day is it? saturday. saturday? what do you mean, i've been in here a week? i have? i don't remember...i did number four or five the other week and i, you know, it was the other week, wasn't it? it's too f...i was in here for a couple of days then. eh? what do you mean, stop pissing in the corner? well if you'd let me out of this f'king room i wouldn't have to piss in the corner, would i? you're lucky i didn't take a laxitive or something like that! in fact i ain't had no nookie...i ain't had no...none of the other, or anything like that for a week! (???) wot? i know, yeah all right, i know rod said, "get it done, at any cost." well there, that's going a bit too far, isn't it. oh, oh no...tape's rolling!
you...tosspot! anyway! well in that case, what'ho you lot out there! hah! jesus, you heard that didn't ya? eh? well i'm sorry you had to hear all this business, he started running that tape. i've just been sitting in here on my own, being variously, twiddling various parts of the body, thinking about what's going on. and he's run that fricking tape!
welcome to nicko's "not alot of people know that, part 7!" you lucky, indespically lucky, debauched! oooooh, you've got your hands on running free, sanctuary, murders in the mooo rooooga...oh ah, the rue morgue, all live! not only that but you've got a bumper package of serious songs...live! goodness! released the 23rd of september 1985, and they got to a chart position of number 19. hmmm...not alot of people remember that. but, i do! cause i played on them! hah! si! now look, murders in the rue, oh by the way, you've got on the other side of that lovely little package in your hands, you've got run to the hills, phantom of the opera, and losfer words, or in other words big 'orra! ah! now, however you want to pronounce it, "big 'orra" or "big 'orra", you know, losfer words will do. that little lot was released 2nd of december 1985, and it's chart position was number 26. so stuff it again, where...you know where, or whatever you like. put it where you want, i don't care as long as you grease it first... very sore if you don't.
now! the first two tracks, as we've said, running free and sanctuary, were recorded at long beach. and i was there, so was dave, adrian, steve, and bruce. haha! good job too, or else we'd have had a piece of blank vinyl! mmmm. so. now, these gigs we did were at long beach, and they were all sold out. mmm hmmm, the very first and only...well maybe not only, but we were the first and only band at that particular point in time to sell out four nights in a row at the long beach arena in los f'king angeles. somewhere close anyway, a stone's throw down the road. nevertheless! powerslave tour! hmmmm. by the way, running free, the photograph on the front of this single was by a man none other than ross halfing. he upstaged derek riggs for this one. riggsy, hmmm, he didn't do any artwork cause halfing did the photograph. and that, so the only shot of the band, live shot on any one of the singles we've ever had and ever probably will. so, not alot of people know that. now you do, so! what a useless piece of trivia that is.
nevertheless! uhhh, yes, what was i saying? uhh, running free, sanctuary, murders, you lucky lot! as i said, run to the hills, phantom, and losfer words. two songs right there, murders and losfer words, you will not have heard anywhere else, even on the live after death offering, because it is not recorded on the vinyl, cd, or video. now you are very lucky, double bubble so, because you have got this stuff in your hands. uuuh! yes. talking of which, the fourth side of the live after death, wrathchild, 22 acacia avenue, children of the damned, die with your boots on, or whatever you like, and phantom of the opera. all on the extra fourth side, or, not on the extra fourth side. i mean you've got two frigging albums you dummy, you've got two sides a piece, haven't you, you fool! i mean, it's not like your going to have five sides to an album, is it? silly billy. anyway, fourth side, only recorded on the album. mmmm hmmm! good stuff!
now, what can i say? you lot...you lot want to know a little story, something sort of about the time we were making this powerslave album. or, we'd actually made the album, should i say, and we were rehearsing the tour, you see, we were rehearsing for the tour in miami. well, a place called fort lauterdale, which is just a stone's throw from this very sickly horribly smelling disgustingly debauched studio i'm sitting in, talking to you from. well, i was, because it's recorded so you know...i did this a couple of...whenever it was...moons and eons ago before this. so, just up the road from fort lauterdale. there we are. we were rehearsing...or there we were...we were rehearsing and all of a sudden, all of a sudden just like that, we get a phone call. you see. lauren, i mean, i'm sorry, lorraine, sorry lorr. lorraine, 'arry harris, bomber harris, mrs. bomber harris, was expecting 'arry harris', mrs. bomber harris' first nipper. you see! so! she was...the call of nature was coming and descending rather swiftly, so steve and i, poor old codger, he didn't want to fly all on his own. you know he doesn't like flying. i dunno if i told you about that, he hates it doesn't he? so, having all the experience of the (???) behind me, i said to steve, "well look here, why don't i come back with you?" i mean, i like a couple of weeks in jersey.
so steve and i flew out of miami to london heathrow, and it was a sunday, well, it was a saturday when we left miami, it was a sunday morning when we arrived. so, we got absolutely f'king smashed to smithereens on the plane, right! get's off the plane, staggers through customs, "all right, excuse," oh no, he says, (east indian accent) "could you please excuse me, would you come over here," this guy said to steve harris, and he's going...he looked at me, he said "what did i f'king tell you?" he said, "i f'king tell you, everytime i go through the f'king customs. i'm the straightest one out of the band, i don'f f'king smoke...i", well he does drink, but uh, whatever. you know. (???), all the fricking time, murphey's law, there he is, custom's man, "what, please...come over here please, where have you just come from?" 'arry's going, "whoah look, f'king not that it's any of your business!" well no, he didn't say that but, i mean he shoulda done. and he would have probably got in...got out of there quicker! anyway, he didn't. so the guy said, "what do you have in this here bag?" and 'arry said, "it's a f'king video, what do you think it is, what does it look like?" "where did you get this from?" he said, "oh, i f'king don't know, i got it in the states somewhere." "do you have a f'king reciept?" 'arry said, "i f'king don't!" "oooh, goodness! i have you! you are nicked, at that proverbially up the creek shit with the paddle now!" and i said, all right frigging what am i gonna do now? so he's standing there, an hour and a half goes by! i'm...no, it wasn't quite an hour now, i lie, i kid you not though, it was about one hour fifteen minutes, cause i timed him! you know, i dunno when i started, i know i was pretty close. because, as you know boys and girls, the liscensing laws in england permit, prevent you from having a liquid libation after two o'clock in the morning, i mean in the afternoon...and the morning. but, we wanted to make it to the pub to have a pint of real bear, because we'd been starved, we'd been eating them, drinking them poof drinks down in nassau, which i told you all about, remember? by the way, it was nassau bahamas and not jersey where the traveller's rest was, see! so, there we were, standing at customs an hour fifteen minutes. i said, he comes out, he going, "i f'king don't believe this," he said, "did you see what that geezer was asking?" i said "well, no, i just saw your feet underneath." i kept looking, i thought they'd run away with him, i was gonna call out the dog's and everything. you know, get on the phone with the lawyer. 'arry's been arrested or something. we could...he was standing there hour and fifteen minutes. so we gets in the limo, mind you we got to go to gatwick to get a plane to jersey. so we thought, we've got enough time to stop off in the proverbial boozer. so we said, yeah, fair enough. so the limo guy's going, "i dunno if you're going to make this," it was like 1 o'clock when we left heathrow. so i says, "yes we will, if you put your boot to that... down to the floor, we can get down to the pub." so we did, we got to the devonshire arms, just on the (???) round-about, down there on the old a-4. so, we pops in there, had a quick swift half, then it was a pint, then it was a pint and a half, then it was two, they were all in one pint glasses mind you. 'arry's on the phone with the wife, "got here all right," he says, ten past one. so we, you know...twenty past two, hahaha, we got a four o'clock plane to catch at glas...at uh glasgow, uuhh you wish...at gatwick, see? guy says, "i think you'd better leave if you're gonna make the plane." i says, (drunken voice) "ok...can i take a beer with us, gov'nor?" this guy, michael and his wife, i don't know, they're not there anymore. so he says, "yeah look, take one of these flaggons...one of them little flaggons, they've got four and a half pints of beer in it, you know, little plastic jobs, take...carry that." so we got in this car, proceeded to go to gatwick. got on the plane to jersey, gets on the plane and opens up this bottle, don't we. the pair of us, sitting right at the back of this 727, or whatever it was, dc-9. there we are, gargling back the old liquid nectar. girl comes up and says "i'm sorry, you can't do that!" we said, "f'king too bad! watcha gonna do, throw us off?" she said, "i'll f'king have you arrested!" we said, "go ahead! we're having our drink anyway." we'd already finished half by this, we were 'faced! gets off at jersey. yes, you guessed it! god done over by customs, the pair of us, didn't we? so there we are standing there, "hello hello hello! what you been up to, you naughty boys?" "we just had a couple of beers on the plane, gov'ner." "yeah, well, that took you a little bit of time to get pissed, it's only an hour flight." "but we...we got on the plane in miami!" hah! "ok," he says, "let's have a look in your bags." so, we got turned over again. that night, we carried on drinking, a whole 24 or 48 hours worth of boozing. 'arry comes home. i left, i threw the towl in at 12 midnight, i couldn't handle it. we went to this place called loberts in jersey, man we got 'faced there, i mean we was gone when we got there. so i've given...thrown the towel in at 12 o'clock. harris came back, must have been about half past two in the f'king morning, how he done it i've no idea. five thirty, "oh god, gotta have a word with the gov'ner on the big white telephone, i'll be back in a minute." two hours later, poor bloke he was green. i got up, i felt terrible, i says "yeah, what's the matter with you?" "what do you f'king think?" he said, "what do you think?" i said, "ah, you ain't too well are ya?" three days later...three days later, this is the first week of july by the way folks. about three or four days later...we must have got there around the 30th of june. anyway, what a great ending, steve got rid of his hangover, he get's a phone call from the wife, "i'm having it! i'm having it!" "ok, i'll be right there!" oh, he hops to the airport, gets on a plane, and uh, it was july the 6th actually, not alot of people know that, but lauren, his very first daughter, he's got three daughters now, uh uhh and uhh and uhh...she was born, i don't know what time in the day, but he got there all right and he was at the birth. and of course he's not looked back, looked back ever since. so, there you go, there's a little story from that period of time. i've got to go. i've got to go, i really do mean this, i've...(farting noise)...jeez, i'll see ya.

(iron maiden fan - 23 Eylül 2003 23:14)

listen with nicko! part viii
oooooh, allow me to introduce myself! my name is...well you know who that is, don't you, boys and girls! yes! if you are listening now, which you should be, or you have just done...wasted years, ooooh an adrian smith composition, and reach out by a guy called dave calwell, and the sheriff of huddersfield. yeeeess, the sheriff, the one and only, mr. rodney smallwood who we shall be speaking lots and lots and loads of verbal about very shortly. first of all, let me move this little scrap of paper out of the way, so i can speak to this stupid microphone without this....(hits microphone)...stupid headphones falling off! right! yes. adrian's first single as a writer, a-side of the band and all that. bleedin' good stuff! do you know that that song means that there is no good looking to lost opportunities in the past? well who does, stupid people! uh, you should always take hold of the present. ah! that reminds me, i tied a bow on my boy last night, and that's what she said to me then...let's take hold of the present! eh? don't you get it? ...stupid people...
anyway! haha! reach out has adrian singing, which is on the b-side, on the old mumbling jumbling vocals, and he used to play in a band called urchin! urchin, get out of it. and, he had a bloke in the band called dave calwell, and i believe andy barnett was in there, we'll talk him in a minute. anyway, we had a little band called the entire population of hackney, see? and we did this little song, as we did...oh yes by the way, we've got stranger in a strange land and that girl and juanita, (drums and sings)..."i'm never going back juanita...i'm never going back." right! now, that was written by a guy called derek o'neil and a guy called steve barnacle. but first of all, yes, i'd better give you the release date, which was the 22nd of november 1986. and it reached the chart position of 22, the avenue...ah! anyway, nevertheless, yes. stranger in a strange land. i will mention this because that girl and juanita which were on the b-side of this were actually songs that we recorded, with me and adrian, just playing them on our own. now not alot of people know that. but we did. the rest of the lazy gits in the band, they couldn't be bothered to learn the poxy song! so we went in there and recorded it ourselves! they said, 'arry goes, "i don't f'king know this." "well go learn it!" he said, "well f'king why don't you record it, then i'll learn it." "well that's a bit silly, isn't it?" he said, "no, go on. you get your f'king butts in there, the pair of you. you know the song, you do it!" so we did. and it turned out pretty good, didn't it? so those three songs were done like that.
anyway, talking of...talking of that girl by the way, for a second. a guy called andy barnett wrote that song. (???). i went out the other night with this f'king red-head. no, no hair, just a f'king red head! hahahaha! anyway! moving back, yes. wasted years, did i mention it was released the 6th of september 1986? that one, by the way, reached the chart position of 18. and that wasn't bad was it? nice one for h, first...first a-side, as i said, that he's written.
and then, moving on, it says here sheriff of huddersfield as you very well know because you've just bloody listened to it, haven't you, you lucky lot. now, i got to give you a little bit of history on our rod smallwood, our governor there, our second in command. now, you picture this...there he is, living in the hills...los...a little place called los angeles, a little speck on the map. los f'king angeles, it's called. and, he's living up in his little castle there, which is sort of up beyond the rainbow, see? which is off the sunset strip. anyway, he misses, he enormously misses his (???), his (???) peas, his pork pies, and his rugby, and his cricket. now, as you know, over in the great us of a, they've got this f'king abbreviation sort of game, or sort of a mixture game of rugby, and they call it f'king football! stupid twits, it ain't nothing like football, what is it! anyway, nevertheless. he don't want to settle for that, he's wants all this. "yooooo me old cronies, oooh jeezzz i missum all so much oh i'm drinking down at the pub five bloody pints of yorkshire bitter with me pals, yooooo mamby pambies for me, oooooo."
so he misses it real big time, so there he is living out in the foothills of los angeles, so he thinks here i know what i'll do, "yooooo, i'll get meself a bloody satelite and i'll stick it on top the bloody roof, and i can tune into all them bloody bleedin bojack company's coverage of the first, second, and third, and any bloody test match i can get my hands on." plus all these rugby bits and pieces. so, he calls out this firm and he gets this satelite stuck on his roof, and the guy, "ah, si amigo! i have it all working for you now! there's nothing wrong! it's all cool." so and rod goes, "ok, well you f'king well wait there, let me go and have a look." and he presses the buttons, right? and what does he get? all the american programs. all these poxy south american things with all these "whoabluaahabluahablee" all that stuff going on, and you don't know what the f'king hell mumbo jumling they're doing, and they don't even have a clue what a f'king rugby ball looks like. so, he's pissed off! "yoooo bloody no good to me! you know how much bloody money i spent on this bloody piece of shit! dooooo, i can't even get my bloody bleedin bojack company! oooooo, i've had enough!" so, oh i should add, ladies and gentlemen, that he's moved back to england! haha, god bless him. anyway, he wanted us to go out there and live with him. you know, he said, "yoooo, come on guys...yoooo, ...(???)... doooo, i've got me own little corner of the rainbow, ooooo, i've got my own mushie piece pizza, and all that stuff good." dear old kieth wilford, god bless him, he used to have to record all the old test matches and rugby games and send them federal express overnight to rod, cause he needed to keep up with it. you know, so it was real serious for him out there.
and so, we had this song that adrian had written that we had recorded on the somewhere in time album, at that period of time. and we thought, well come on then, lets put some words to this song, cause we didn't actually have any words. so, as it transpires, we decided to write a song about rod, and we'd call it sheriff of huddersfield. by the way, i didn't tell ya...he actually is from huddersfield, "yoooo, bloody up north, yoooo," a hundred kilometres due north of watford. anyway! we all sat down, i was actually out of the room for about half an hour or fourty minutes before this, you know, before, i walked in the room, everybody was sitting down, roadies, steve gadd, you know, mike kenney, robbie price, and bill barkeley, they were all in there...couple of studio engineers that were friendly to the band and that, and anybody, but mind you, really it was only the band and the crew cause they knew rod, so everybody came up with these ideas, and sort of the lyrics were down together by the whole lot of us. so, theres a bit in the middle isn't it, where roddy goes...bruce actually, goes, "yooooo, allow me to introduce myself, my name is rodney and i'm immensely strong! i can lift five navies on the end of a shovel!" and it goes on like...well in that section, there's just a little spot where bruce had to do that narrative bit, and he basically ad-libbed it. we had some... he had some notes, but he really just kind of blew through it, and it came out perfectly at the end of that sort of little solo section where bruce does that little part. and so when he did it we were absolutely creased up, we could not believe it, we just started laughing and martin birch, martin jarr, the gov'nor, or the animal, birch, and all the good name and things we gave him over the years. he couldn't stop laughing, all the nobs were getting all butted out of place, and everyone was screaming and laughing and riotous. and thats how we sort of formulated the sheriff of huddersfield.
but it was funny. and we thought, what's rod gonna do? oh whoah, by the way, one other thing about that was we couldn't let him know about it, cause we thought well if he find's out about it, he'll be onto the governors down at emi there, and he'll be going, "yoooo, bloody having none of that! give us the bloody master tape! yoooo, i'll bloody eat it! give it to me now!" and so we thought well we'd better not let them...let him know. so we actually got in touch with the people at emi and said to them, whatever you do, don't let rod know there's a third track on this single. and keep it hidden from him, and you know don't let him hear anything until you've pressed it, cut the single, and it's all...cut it and pressed it and it's all ready to go. so, it was one of the best kept secrets in the business at that time, cause if he'd have found out, "yooooo! that's it!" after he heard it, he said "that's it, yoooo! you're fired, the bloody lot of you! yooooo, i don't want to be your manager! yoooo." we said, "sorry. we're gonna hold you to your f'king contract, so there!" hahahaha! no, god bless him, he took it great. he sort of gave us a bit of a hard time for awhile, but i think he saw the error of his ways and he moved back to england and now he's happier and he lives happily ever after down the road with missus kathy. so! hi kath! how you doing!
anyway! yes, stranger in a strange land, that's moving on, i've only got a few minutes now to tell you about the sleeve for this here single. and, stranger in a strange land was based on a story that adrian had read in the newspaper about an expedition that got lost in the north pole...silly gits! course they f'king get lost, there's no signposts up there, are there! and they found some frozen bodies almost perfectly preserved. i wonder what parts were not preserved...hmmm. anyway! adrian, apparently he met one of the expedition who was a survivor. i guess he must have been a bit old, eh, it was f'king years ago. i dunno. anyway no, he bought the album because of the song, apparently, and now he's actually one of maiden's top fans. so there, stuff that up your jaxie, see! anyway, there we go, say no more. yes, oh well yes, i was going to say about the sleeve for this here distinguished sleeve, as we looked at it we see eddie, don't we? and he, who's he look like? eh? "go ahead punk! make my day!" buuuh! yes, it's clint eastwood no less, himself! i wonder if he seen this, i wonder what he thought when he that grotesque eddie, looking like him with the old cigarette in the gob. you know, standing in that stupid bar with all them silly twits around him from star wars and all that stuff, you know. well there you go, eddie was clint eastwood in that, well see. and yeah, good song, good single! and thanks to you guys, chart position 22 as i said, released the 22nd of november as i said, if i didn't...(hits microphone)....too bad! don't you die on me this time, microphone. there you go!
oh by the way, just to mention that andy barnett and dave calwell who both have songs on the b-sides of that there wasted years and stranger in a strange land are actually performing, yes, no less performing...no you twits, playing the guitars on adrian's solo album which is called as soon as possible, i guess, or adrian smith and pals, or azzap, or as about...ap, or whatever. you can work it out, you can come up with your own abbreviation for that. but, there you go, listen to that, sweet stuff! i'm going. i've been in here too bleeding long, i'm going down to the pub. you've gotta admit i deserve it by now, i've sat in this place and i've gotta go. that's all there is to it.

(iron maiden fan - 23 Eylül 2003 23:16)

listen with nicko! part ix
what ho! nicko here! welcome to nicko's "not alot of people know that, number 9!" yes! this is the one that comes after eight or before ten, but if you don't have number eight, it comes after seven, doesn't it? yes, well you stupid little people, if you do not have number eight or number seven or one of them's missing, because if you don't have those little tokens in your sticky greasy palms and you don't have ten of them at the end of these ten weeks of releases of the re-released rather singles of iron maiden, you won't get your little box set, will you? no! because as you know by now, i haven't told you but you should know...you will be the proud owner of a special box with some seriously good artwork from mr. derek riggs. yes! and you will then be able to put all those greasy horribly grubby pieces of vinyl in there which as you know will have those amazing pictures on them and the little artwork, packages, and sleeves...and all that good stuff in that box! so, keep them all or else you'll be in severely good trouble! (hits the microphone)...take that! now then! now! you are severely in some trouble now, because you've got can i play with madness, black bart blues, massacre! mmmmmm! can i play with madness written by harry harris, black bart blues by harry harris and bruce dickinson, massacre lynott, gorham, and downey. yes, released the 2nd of march 1988, and it got to...(taps microphone)...what was that? (taps microphone)...three! yes, number three! it debuted at number four in the charts, thanks to you lot out there, you horrible viscious mean people to go out and buy such a seriously good single as that and get it to number three. hahaha! no serious, folks, hah! this, what can you say, debuted at number four.
oh by the way on a more sombre note, and something like that, must say before we go much further, is that, as you may know, remember the video and all that good stuff, this here single. well it was featuring a chap who i think we would all agree was one of the great comedians and one of the major contributors to the monty python mob and gang cohooting geezers out there doing all that mumbo jumbling stuff...with the big boot and stuff, squashing everybody...yes! was mr. graham chapman. well, here's a little memorandum to him...ah, memorandum...in memory of him...memorandum...crazy, off the wall. no, i think what we gotta say is thanks to graham for such a great contribution to comedy in general and everything, he's gonna be sadly missed. but this was one of his last film performances before he unfortunately died. so, lets hope he's having a good time up there, and we'll... undoubtedly we'll meet one another time somewhere else in a different place.
anyway! moving on to a lighter note, yes! you've got black bart blues on this here single, and as you know after the old black bart blues there's some various mumblings and jumblings from yours truly. and these were not "not alot of people know that" mumblings and jumblings, these were stupid mumbling jumblings that were put together off of all the...at the ends of all the songs that we recorded over that album of seventh son of a seventh son such as "hmm... they're gonna put this on a cd! i (???) solo! i said i seen'em." and all that stuff right? well you know what i mean, cause you just f'king listened to it, didnt ya? so there we were, picture this. we were at the playback after we had made the album, recorded it, all that good stuff, mixed it. and we were at the playback for the emi people. and all the band were there, and all the press...micky wall and a few other people. hello micky! were all there, and they're doing all their old reviews of this album and stuff, so we played...kinda played...now, you've gotta bear this in mind...none of the chaps, not one of them let me know what was going on, see? so i was clueless! i know, but as i usually...no now look, i was, i didn't have a clue. see? so there i was standing there...now you picture this...there's the pa system that we were playing this here stuff back through, behind me. and i'm looking down and all the band, and we'd already gone through the album and all this, and we'd got up to singles time, see? everybody was out, all the emi bigwigs are there, you know, "yeah what ho, yes, eh pretty damn good album don't you think?" "well yes i do, pretty damn good, don't you think, yes." "eh, shall we pay them money this week?" "(???) pretty good stuff, lets go." so! anyway, having said that, there i am, this damn thing comes on the bleedin music box. after it finishes...black bart blues finishes that is, there's "whooo, hello!" you know and there's all this stuff like answer phone stuff, i phone someone i forget where they got that from, oh it was the studio answer machine, "hi hi, nicko here...hi." anyway, you know, just stupid stuff. then it starts, doesn't it. well, can you imagine my face. there's all the band creased up falling all over the place laughing...they all thought it was the funniest thing since whatever. so there i am looking at this lot, and i'm kind of feeling a bit embarrassed you know, cause i'd not heard this, and i thought, "what's all this mumbling jumbling coming out these here big speakers?" then i looked over at the other side of the room...you know those...you know those faces that you get from the theatre, right, you know you've got the comedy chops and the thriller, you know, and the sad stuff, you know. there's one smiling and there's one looking like, you know, he's just lost the quid and found a tanner, you know. so, picture this...the room's one half crawling all over the floor laughing, and the other lot are like, "eh, what's going on? what's this stuff coming in?" can you imagine this is the world. emi world people you know from all over the place. and i tell ya, when these people saw everybody going, "hahahahaho!" they're going, "ho ha ha ha ha haaha! oh what ho jeez, pretty funny hahhaa." so they also saw the funny side of it after awhile, but it took awhile i'll tell ya. and of course i was really really embarrassed to say the least, cause this was my lunacy stuff, and you you lot f'king got it in your sweaty greasy horrible little palms again, ain't ya!
anyway! enough of that, moving on. on the other side you've got the evil that men do, or on the same side, i dunno how the bloody hell (???)! (hits microphone)...take that! the evil that men do....written by h. smith... adrian smith, b. dickingson....paul dickinson, and 'arry bomber harris...steve harris. hmm. released the 1st of august 1988! and on the other side of that we had prowler '88 and charlotte the harlot written by mister murray and harris! yes, dave came out of the closet for that one. whoah! no, i didn't mean it badly, i mean dave doesn't...when he writes a song he writes a cracker, doesn't he? but, he...he sort of...he writes one every couple of years, and he's got a couple in reserve at the moment, and so you lot might hear some of this in the next couple of months because i think he's got a cut for the new album that you ain't gonna believe. anyway! evil that men do. char... sh... sh... sh... i had one of them this morning...no, a shower. chart position five, it debuted at number six. do-de-de-de-do! now, prowler and charlotte the harlot we recorded. we re-re-re-re-re-recorded these because the band...ah it's getting silly, i've gotta get out of here and get some fresh air, i mean you ain't gonna believe what it's like in this little room. anyway, the band never were completely happy with the original versions, you know, from way back. and you lot, you greasy despicable mean mangy looking lot out there, you-ou-ou-ou been requesting some of this stuff from the early material to be recorded...re-recorded...with your's truly. hahahaha! no, no, no, i'm joking! no, you know, re-recorded with bruce and the...how's that, we'll put me in there too, so... actually, steve and i were actually discussing a few months back about all these old songs...the old stuff that we've recorded, about doing maybe in the future, keeping it the same format so basically the end of the day we might actually have the whole back issue of all the stuff with this sort of maiden re-recorded, all the old stuff that we weren't on...myself, bruce, and h. so there you go, you never know.
by the way, here's a joke for ya. i gotta tell you this before i leave, because i'm running out of time. and...yeah, it's like this, see. superman and batman talking to one another one day, so superman says, "'ere bat." "yeah, what, what's the matter sup?" he said, "i was out having a little jaunt over at central park the other day", he said, "i had a touch of the (???), and you'll never guess what!" he said, "what't that sup?" he said, "i f'king looked down...strike me down, there's wonder woman wiggling about, legs up in the air, lassoo, all that old stuff...ooh, she must be having a good time...f'king hell, what's she doing!" he says, batman says, "well what did you do?" he said, "well i got f'king serious touch of the hardon, didn't i? it nearly shot me out to jupiter!" he said, "did it?" he said, "no, i got as far as mars!" he said, "f'king hell, that was a touch, wasn't it?" he said, "more than that! i came back i had such a bone-on, there she was wiggling and wobbling out on the grass, f'king legs up in the air...oh, she was rubbing her dun great tits! rubbing her thighs...and she was just kinda caressing...oh! i couldn't resist!" batman says, "well what did you do then, sup?" he said, "well, i unzipped my boy...you know, my fly, and i got my boy out and i f'king shot damn about a thousand feet!" he said, "did ya?" he said, "yeah! f'king great!" batman says, "well, what happened then?" he said, "well, it f'king landed on top of her!" he said, "did ya!" he said, "f'king right!" he said "i bet wonder woman was real surprised, weren't she?" he said, "yeah, not half as surprised as the bleedin invisible man!" hahahahahahah! hahahah! (drumming) oh dear! nevermind! i'm off! i'm going! tada!

(iron maiden fan - 23 Eylül 2003 23:16)

listen with nicko! part x:
ah ha! ha! ha! haaaa! maybe i can get out of here now! oh, this is nicko's "not alot of people know that, number ten." when i finish this i can go home! ahahaha! ah oh, why do i want to go home? oh i don't know, i've been in here so long, oh i'm stuck to the chair and all that kind of good stuff. and i've had so much fun mumbling on to you guys and telling you jokes and all that stuff and this is the last one! well at least i can go and have a bath. hmmmmm, it's about that time of the year anyway. hahahaha!
well! you despicable heathenistic civilictic god knows what else...mumbling jumbling oooh big single buying public have got in your greasy sweaty horrible... oooh! how is your stereo still spinning around and that little needle bouncing up and down in all that grime? you have got the clairvoyant, prisoner, heaven can wait, released the 7th of november 1988 chart position number six! yes! and on the other side you've got infinite dreams, killers, still life. harris and murray wrote that song, debuted number twelve, got to number six again! my goodness! and that was released the 6th of november 1989! oh, here, have you just noticed something...something a bit weird about that? yeah, i don't know whether that eddie's got anything to do with that seventh son business, but those were both released...those singles, within one year of each other to the day almost. released 7th of november '88, infinite dreams released 6th of november '89. a bit strange and all that.
well look at that! let's go on, i don't really...i started getting tingles up the back, i don't like that. dave? oh, get out of here. anyway, no. hahaha! jeez, four top ten singles in a year to two years actually. by the time you lot are listening to this, which is february, i mean as we know can i play with madness was released the 2nd of march '88 and we're at the sort of end of february. that's close to two years isn't it? that's bloody good i think, considering we had a year off. i mean, god bless you lot out there, i mean, you know, to not actually have done anything in a year and we pulled out like a single, you know, infinite dreams, and by the way that was off the new maiden england video which we shall talk about in a minute. you know, after a year you pushed it up to number six for us, and god bless you all, because it's nice to know that you ain't forgotten us. you know.
anyway! the clairvoyant, prisoner...all live renditions, my goodness, of the most severe kind! i should know, i was there wasn't i! sooty was there too, did you notice? anyway, enough of him, stupid soddy bear, he doesn't know even how to talk or anything else, stupid git! anyway! the clairvoyant, prisoner, and heaven can wait were recorded in front of you lot as i said i believe earlier on. if i didn't, as i said again on previous "not alot of people knows that," f'king too f'king bad! a hundred and seven thousand of ya! wooah! at donnington on august the 20th 1988, you can lucky people, you've not only got the live renditions, you were there, probably! and there was kiss, david lee roth, all kinds of people. my goodness, what a great day. anyway, those as i say were recorded and were a special little single release to you from us lot celebrating the 20th of august for us, because that was...i told you this, we got on stage 20 minutes early for that gig. we got a guy called dicky bell, my goodness the das furher bell we called him because he's like hitler, right asshole! anyway hah! he comes in the dressing room and he goes, "right you horrible lot, you musician slime, you scumbags, you sleazeballs, get on that stage now, it's time to do your show, you lazy bastards!" all that sort of stuff, right? "oh good afternoon dick, well good evening dick" you know, (???) off we go. we were convinced that he'd actually come in the dressing room at donnington that evening and told us to get on stage. but he actually didn't. and we got on stage and he goes, "right! what the f'king hell are you lot doing up here? piss off my stage, get up here when i tell ya!" we said, "look! rumour has it we're supposed to be doing a gig. anyway you stupid prat, you told us to get up here." "no i f'king didn't!" he said. we said, "you f'king did!" he said, "i f'king didn't!" boof! stuck us in the eyeballs! take that for openers! "look here dick, why the hell we up here for if somebody didn't come around?" he said, "you fucking show him off to me, i'll have a word with him, tell my band to come up here when i ain't ready!" so, we get on stage, as i said, ten minutes early and we had ten minutes before we had to get, you know, actual showtime. so, cause we get up there and get warmed up the various bits, twiddly old exercises, steve checks is bass, all the boys...and bruce goes round the back and does the various gobbing in the old facial mask thing and all that, and ah ha! oh we all do the bits, you know.
so we actually had an extra ten minutes on stage looking at you lot standing out there waiting for us lot to come up and do it, and so....(farting noises)...."you nervous?" "no." "what was that?" "somebody step on a duck?" "i dunno!" the air turned blue! we had all these film crews around there trying to film us, and they soon left, hahaha! they got out of there quick, they knew how to get out while the going was good, you know what i mean.
so what can i say man, what a fantastic experience! something that will live with me for the rest of my life, no doubt about that. and, i mean we played like a cat on a tin roof, and we all thought it was a blazing gig. but we later found out and we thought the tape was running slow when we recorded it but nevertheless...enough said about that! hahaha!
moving on to infinite dreams, killers, and still life! ohh god it's tormenting me! i'm sitting here, i'm strapping myself into this chair with the lead and cable from these headphones trying to restrain myself! my goodness! it was only a year ago that i played these songs for you with the band and all! i miss it so much! oh gosh, it debuted at twelve and it got to number six, didn't it, not so many weeks ago! released the 6th of november 1989, my gosh, one year to the day of the clairvoyant's release. a bit uncanny, as i say.
nevertheless! these three songs were taken from the band's gig at the nec in birmingham, which was recorded around i think, novermber the 28th, 1988...27th it was...and the 28th, we did two gigs! hah ha ho! so, what can i say? we listened... now actually steve...let me say this, steve directed and edited this here maiden england video, and he set up all the camera angles and told the guys what he wanted, and it took six months to edit this piece of work, 90 minutes worth of music. and i've got to say this, he done the most stunning job i think i've ever seen, and i'm saying that. i'm saying that because, i didn't have to crawl to him because i did that last week, i've got a brown tongue and warm kneepads! hahahah! no, serious piece of work! no, as you will agree with me, it is, isn't it? i mean, i haven't seen a music video that's so clear, so good, and well put together. it's really...i'm proud to have been on that, because it's f'king great. and we decided actually, when we heard the soundtrack we were really so tempted to realease it as a live album again, cause it was really good and martin recorded the band so well in that room, it was really nice. but we settled for taking a single off of it, because we thought, you know, it wasn't the right time to do another, you know, a second live album. but you know, it means it's well...i guess for the fans without access to the video will have a souvenier of the '88 tour won't you? because you can stick this lot on your f'king stereo, as long as it ain't screwed up with all the sticky horrible debauched singles you stuck on prior to this, as long as your stilus still bounces over the grooves and does all that good stuff it'll be allright won't it?
hey, by the time you've got this lot in your hands, by the way, we shall have been in the studio working on a brand new album! yes! oooh, it's gonna be out later this year. and we may, or we may not, you never know, have another four top ten singles, thanks to you lot. and i'm going to work it out and say to them...say to you lot, it's about that time to wind this up. i mean, i've had such a great time speaking to you....you...you lot! f'king hell! oh dear, we'll have to do this again sometime, i'd like to. that's it! no, and...basically thanking you lot....you greasy slugs! you....you grubby lucky little people! no i'm kidding, hahaha! thanks for ten great fantastic maidenesque years of boogalooing through the, you know, the lunchaloms of this business...getting up there and giving it all the good old heavy metal welly, which we need more of! lots of big heavy metal welly's everywhere, squashing all that grief stuff, all that rap shit and all that good crap that's out there that that bleedin bojack company play all the time and that fucking mighty tight veg cause they haven't got a clue anymore have they? anyway! toodle-do to you lot! thanks alot to the gov'nor, 'arry harris, and dave murray, adrian smith and bruce dickinson, and the gov'nor rod smallwood, andy taylor, and all the boys...tony wiggins, dick bell, and everybody else who's involved, my drum tech especially, gadsy! and emi, for whom without them i wouldn't be here talking to you lot, mumbling and jumbling, and you wouldn't have had f'king half a dozen, seven or eight, f'king albums of the band, all that good stuff, to be mumbling jumbling and listening to. so, as i said, oh yeah, is it, no...i was going to tell you a joke, but i've decided i've run out of them, and they ain't very funny anyway, so bollocks! that's all i can say to that! and as i say, as 'arry harris says, as he says it very well, there's only one 'um, and that's fuck'um! so, god bless ya, and i'll see ya...if i don't see you in the spring, as i said on one of the other "not alot of people know that", i'll see you in a mattress!

(iron maiden fan - 23 Eylül 2003 23:17)

iron maiden'in 1990'da ilk albumun cikmasinin 10. yili $erefine cikardigi ten years collection'in herbirinin son tracki olarak yer alan hede... nicko mcbrain'in super geyiklerinden olusur. (bkz: okuz anlatiyor)

(robin - 7 Haziran 2001 18:27)